IOWA'S SENSUOUS CZECH VISIONARY,
SISTER KASI

Dear Sister Kasi,

     My daughter recently began playing the guitar at the age of three and is uniquely proficient. However, despite all my efforts, she insists on holding my right-handed guitar upside-down and left-handed. Even worse, whenever I find her playing, there is the odor of stale cigarettes, and whiskey; all the more amazing as no one in our family smokes or drinks. More than once, in the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a dark figure of man sitting next to her, but when I looked, there was no one there. I am worried. While children her age can barely sing "Jesus Loves Me", she is belting out "All Along the Watchtower" and "Stairway to Heaven". What is happening and what can I do?

     Fretting in Zoar

     Dear Fretting,

     I would consult with an astrologist and have her charts done, and then follow up with a cross reference of rock musicians who died on or around the your daughter's date of birth. It is possible that her soul has been compressed so that the former musician might continue his or her career. Another possibility is that a past life force is so strong that it is emerging over top of this current incarnation of the soul. This is less serious than the former possibility which is more akin to spirit possession than reincarnation. You should perhaps consult a past life regressionist who can bring those two lives into a more proper balance.

     The third possibility is that you have a ghost in your house who is exerting this influence on the child. In any case, you should not interfere on your own, and certainly have a professional evaluate her potential as an artist. Wait to see if she begins original compositions rather than stale covers of rock standards. If she does, get her a recording contract, if not, get her into Betty Ford.

     Dear Kasi,

     I've been a fan of Bewitched for years, and I love the cartoon of Elizabeth Montgomery at the beginning that flies in on a broom. I've always wondered, especially since Samantha never rode one, where the broomstick thing comes from. Can you help?

     Taut Sir Odd in Iowa City

     Dear Sir Odd,

     Excellent question. One of the first images we see of the witch is on a broomstick flying to an unholy Sabbat. Actual confessions to broomstick riding are very few, most witches attended on foot. The notion of flying has long been associated with the magical and otherworldly, perhaps due to the idea of the separation of the spirit from the body which is anchored to the earth. As for the broomstick itself has long been a purely sexual symbol, representing both the female and male; "the rod which penetrates the bush." In the days of the witch trials the "broom handle" was actually a slang term for a dildo, and the vagina was sometimes called "the broom".

     To cement the image, consider that the Sabbat joined participants with the devil, and commonly the joining was consummated with a sexual rite. In 1662, Isabel Gowdie, accused of witchcraft, made a confession which could suggest that some sort of artificial phallus of horn or leather may have been used:

     "His members are exceeding great and long; no man's members are so long and big as they are... (he is) a meikle, black, rough man, very cold; and I found his nature as cold within me as spring-well water... He is abler for us that way than any man can be, only he is heavy like a malt-sack; a huge nature, very cold, as ice."

     When you combine this with the old custom of signifying common-law marriage by jumping over a broomstick, it becomes very clear why the broom at the time was such a potent symbol, though the significance has faded for the modern person.

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